The “Self-Help” Method
By Nell Stevenson

Have you been into a mainstream bookstore lately? You may have noticed, as I did, that there is a fairly substantial self improvement section identified as  “Self- Help”. Here I discovered numerous titles that encourage readers to focus on their feelings of inadequacy, failures and disappointments. Few of us can go through life without experiencing one of these to some degree.

Self-improvement is an admirable goal and with these “how to” books you can become a better, more likeable, successful individual, stronger and more able to cope with whatever life brings your way, if you will follow their advice. Let’s face it – people in general like rules and instructions. Rules set the boundaries; instructions tell you what to do next. The thinking has already been done and you are on your own to follow the method without interference.

Allow me to share some of these interesting titles to give you an idea of the type of self-help books that are on the shelves.

• How to Win Friends and Influence People  - (an oldie)
• How to Stop Worrying and Start Living
• Feeling Good
• Change Your Thoughts Change your life
• Get Smarter – Life and Business Lessons
• How to Get Control of Your Time and Your Life
• Happiness Now “Let love be your god
• Powerful Lessons in Personal Change

With this type of self-help advice the general public hopes to find answers to life’s perplexing questions and search for a method to help them heal their spirit and give them a sense of self-worth. They put their faith in the authors, some highly educated people who have spent years in studying human behavioral psychology and are sincere in their efforts to help their readers and clients. Their well-researched ideas have proven to be beneficial to many, at least for a time.

But this is the world’s way of dealing with life’s struggles. One’s faith is placed wholeheartedly in the wisdom of man and science. Most of us have tried that way and were not satisfied. The whole problem, it seems to me, is that our Almighty God who created us and knows us intimately is totally left out of the picture. “Before you were conceived I knew you; before you came to birth I consecrated you,” says the Lord. (Jer.1:5) Yes, He created a people for his glory and set us apart for a specific purpose. He is a personal God interested in our deepest feelings and wants to participate in every detail of our lives. The apostle Peter encourages us to “Cast all your cares on him because he cares for you.” (1Peter 5:7)

Self-help instruction books are not tailor-made for your specific character or personality quirks – they offer a “one size fits all” program of steps to follow. What we need is a personalized assessment and a personal trainer. If we have a relationship with Jesus Christ He will fill that role and be our life coach to help us achieve our full potential by the influence of His Holy Spirit. He will gradually change us from the inside out by speaking to us on a personal level through the Bible and prayer. Our job is to obey.

He goes to the root of the problem and those who trust him will receive a sense of self-esteem and worthiness. He has said “I will not fail you or forsake you” (Jos.1:5) His presence is with us. Instead of following a set of do’s and don’ts because those are the rules, He changes our hearts to be in tune with His perfect will. The change may be very gradual, almost imperceptible for many of us since we are so used to the Self-help method and continually resist the Spirit.

How can the wisdom of man compare to these encouraging words from our Creator? “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” (Mat.11:28) Or, “The law of the Lord is perfect, converting the soul: the testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple. The statutes of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart: the commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyes.” (Ps.19:7,8)

Others are, “For whatsoever things were written aforetime were written for our learning, that we through patience and comfort of the scriptures might have hope.” (Rom.15:4)  “The joy of the Lord is my strength ”.(Neh.8:10) “All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness.” (2Tim.3:16)

So there you have it. One book is all we need to guide us through all the hurdles we may encounter, the inspired word of God, the Bible. “For the word of God is quick and powerful and sharper than any two edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.” (Heb.4:12) This is Christ, by the Holy Spirit whispering to your spirit as you gradually learn to know and trust Him and let him guide you in every decision you make. Here is the real self-improvement solution on every level. Let’s consult him! Trust him! Let’s put away the “self-help” books and theories. This is our desire but unfortunately our carnal nature is still alive.

Alas! How easy it is for us to slide back into our former habits and to ignore the Spirit. How many of us actually acknowledge our dependence on him for all our daily decisions, whether business or personal? For so long we have been locked into the “how to” self-help mode. We discovered “how to,” to be saved by following the steps. Then, knowing that we have been Saved by the Blood of Christ, we think that the work has been done, when it has only just begun. Sincere as our repentance may have been it is the Holy Spirit who began the work in us and we must acknowledge our complete dependence on Him to help us grow spiritually. We now have the potential to walk by the Spirit; but many of us still choose to walk in the flesh. We are just “infants in Christ”. We have accepted His gift of salvation and eternal life but now begins the task of growing up to maturity and it is still our habit to rely on the wisdom of “self-help” rather than the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

The road to improvement is a long journey. We Israelites are still as stubborn as our Israelite ancestors. We live in a fast paced society and we want instant answers. In a world full of educated people, experts in every field, it is difficult to first spend time in prayer and wait for the Lord’s answer. Let’s face it - we are all guilty. The trust in man, the “self-help” habit is hard to break.

The same holds true for leaders of our Christian groups, church elders or women’s ministries. They also suppress the Holy Spirit making decisions on the advice of so called experts without earnest prayer and fasting by Godly men and women, and waiting for a second or third witness according to the scripture to be sure of the Lord’s will. This is a travesty!  It has led to much disillusionment and falling away of many good people. Have we not learned that “the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God’s sight”? (1Cor.3:19)

We of true Israel who profess to believe IN the Bible; do we really believe THE BIBLE? We who profess to believe IN God; do we really BELIEVE GOD? “There is a way that seems right unto man, but the end thereof is destruction.” (Pr.14:12) This is really the only “self-help” method.